Gardening With ME - Mañana

Aconites

Sorry about the long absence from blogging! This post will hopefully explain it - and is a contribution to Julieanne at Gwenfar's Garden's occasional meme about gardening with ME and other chronic illnesses.


Ericas

Contrary to some of the peculiar stories about ME which occasionally circulate in the media, people with ME are not "exercise-phobic". On the contrary, most of us are really keen to get out there and garden (or walk, or dance, or whatever it was we enjoyed doing before we became ill). Unfortunately though, the main symptom of ME is "post-exertional neuro-immune exhaustion" (PENE) - in other words, any exertion, physical or mental, causes us to become, not just "tired", but physically ill - it makes all our other symptoms worse.


Cyclamen

This means that we have to learn to relax and not try to do everything at once. A lot of people with ME find this really difficult, especially when there are things waiting to be done! Many people, when they are first diagnosed, try very hard to keep doing the things they used to do before they were ill instead of pacing themselves. This simply doesn't work, and they end up making their illness worse, sometimes permanently so. So people with ME have to learn to be laid-back and laissez-faire, to put off until tomorrow the things we simply can't do today, to realise that if we still can't do them tomorrow, well then we'll do them whenever we can. We'll do them mañana.


Hellebore

I'm quite lucky in this respect. Years ago, when I was a student, I was excessively punctual, turned up to appointments ten minutes early, handed my essays in well before they were due (much to the annoyance of my fellow students), and kept rigidly to a time-table. Faced with a long list of jobs - for instance at the moment I'm conscious that there are weeds to pull up, seeds to sow, plants which need potting on, a lawn to rake, and fruit trees to buy and plant, as well as that horrible front garden which I want to dig out completely and redesign - I would have wanted to get out there and get started immediately, and to keep going until it was all finished. If I were still like that now and didn't have ME, I'd have done all the things which gardening magazines and websites list as "March jobs" before the middle of March and right now I'd be busy making a list of things to do in April.


Primulas

However, time spent living in Northern Ireland after I graduated cured me of this need to get everything done "in time". I don't know what it's like there now, but when I was there, the people were very laid-back. Turning up to an apointment early meant being not more than half an hour or so late. No-one rushed, no-one hussled. If they didn't manage to get something done one week, well then they'd postpone it until the next. Mañana was a state of mind.


Iris

At first I found this really annoying, but over time I realised that I couldn't beat them, so I would just have to join them. While I still like to get on with things as soon as I can, I've learned that it doesn't actually matter if I don't get it all done today - I can still get it done next week, or next month, or next year. And if I don't get it done at all it won't be the end of the world.


Vinca

This has really helped with my ME - it meant that when I was first diagnosed and told to pace myself, get plenty of rest, and stop activities before I started to get too tired rather than when it was too late and I was shattered and ill, I was able to adapt to this lifestyle without too much difficulty. I can still do things, but I can't plan to do them to any kind of timetable. People with ME can't make plans because we never know when we will have good days and when we will have bad days. I have to do things when I am well enough, and if I'm not well enough, I have to just relax and think - well, mañana.


Crocus Vanguard, Ard Schenk, and an unknown yellow one which was here when we moved in

I still make lists - as Julieanne pointed out recently, people with ME need lists because we just can't keep everything in our heads, and it's very satisfying when we can tick something off them! However, I try not to feel under pressure to do the things on them by a particular date. I no longer think in terms of "March jobs" or "things to do in April".


Forsythia

I'm not saying it's always easy, or that it isn't sometimes frustrating when it's a lovely sunny day and I don't have the energy to pick up a trowel, let alone dig a hole with it. However, it's something I have to live with so there's no point in fighting against it. I'll go out and dig up those weeds whenever I do have time and energy, but if I don't get a border cleared today, well the weeds will still be there tomorrow. When I have a good day I'll pot on some plants, but if I don't get them all done this spring, then I can do some in the autumn - or I can do some next spring. When I have a less good day perhaps I'll be able to sow some seeds, but if I don't sow them all this year, they'll keep until next year. And all the other things will wait too. After all, I waited 7 years before I was able to move house, so what's a few months before I get my fruit trees?


Ranunculus Brazen Hussy

I think this mañana attitude is good for the wildlife in my garden - it means that the there are always patches which I haven't yet cultivated, messy bits of garden I haven't managed to tidy. And you know what? I think it's also good for me. Not just because it's better for my ME that I pace myself, but also because it means gardening is always enjoyable, it never becomes a chore. When I am well enough to garden it's always a treat - and that's the way I think it should be.


Assorted Narcissi, including Rijnveldt's Early Sensation and Topolino

As for my lack of blog posts - well, I had a very busy February with other things and I'm still catching up. It's not just physical activity which causes PENE, it's mental activity too, and the subsequent exhaustion doesn't just effect my body, it effects my mind as well. If I write too many emails or look at too many websites, I just don't have a functional enough brain to write a blog post, or even a comment on someone else's blog post.


Viola, here when we moved in, but I think it's Viola cornuta

Like the gardening jobs, I have various blog posts in waiting. I've been meaning to join in with this meme for a while, and I also intended to join in with garden bloggers' bloom day in February. And then in March. Oh well. The photos in this post are the ones which should have gone in those two posts - my blooms for the last two months. Never mind, mabye I'll make the April GBBD - or the May one. Mañana.


Anemone blanda

For more posts about gardening with ME, head over to Gwenfar's Garden.